Equilibrium in disharmony.
Control in chaos.
Serenity in madness.
Peace in violence.
Contentment in depression.
Focus in pain.
Strength in egocentrism.
Mmh.. Maybe you're not gold. You're better then that..
And you are never even close to useless..
rash..? hm.. maybe when you're not close.. Since I ache and itch to touch you again
It all depends on how you view the term "friend."
I associate with a lot of different people, simply because I got tired of swallowing in self-pity about things I barely knew. I enjoy learning about people's lives and I've met so many varity of people that is helps me feel better claiming I'm open minded. Half the internet kids who claim to be open-minded are actually too far closed up their asses.
I'm guilty of lying, but it's usually because I care too much to be too honest to the people I see face to face with. White lies I think is what they're called. Never leads to anything good, but it strays away from an unearthly bad.
I also used to lie constantly to get people to like me, I was a people pleaser and I bent myself every which way to make people want to know my name. I still can be known for being a people pleaser, but I've gotten a lot better and more comfortable with my constantly changing personality.
Well for me a friend is someone I know I can trust and talk to.
I don't think of myself as close minded but since I have been wrong before I'm not going to say I'm not. I'm a lone wolf and I enjoy my privacy, which is why I live alone and like it that way. I don't have any problems talking to others unless I'm in a bad mood and I enjoy hearing their views on things.
And you are very right, at least half of those who claim to be open minded aren't. Which is why I try to never judge anyone, at least not by anything but their motives and situation.
Yeah I did that to, it's a long time ago now but I know why people do it even though I can never imagen myself doing it again. And I don't want someone else doing it to me, I want to know Them, not who they think I want to be with. If that made any sense...
And I respect you highly for realizing that you may or not be openminded. It causes a sense of trust and high respect when people realize certain aspects of their personality.
I'm not sure if it's really about realizing something, not for me anyway. It's more that I let others build their own opinion about me as it usually just goes wrong when I try to describe myself. Whatever it is that I want to say just comes out wrong. Really irritating. Then they just missunderstand me and get angry at me or something. At which point I usually go away as I don't have the energy or motivation to explain it to them.
Have you ever experienced that?
I regret almost everything I verbally say. Online a lot too. A lot of people misunderstand my means when I speak because my words come out jumbled and backwards and I get made fun of for not being able to form correct setences a lot.
I've always wanted to be a mute,
but at the same time I'd go crazy left alone to speak only in my head.
Well I have a lot of patience with those kinds of things and because of the fact that it happens to me to I try to never make fun of people when they say something wrong.
Not so much anyway.
Being mute would be interesting and since my little brother is learning sign laungage anyway it prolly wouldn't be so bad. I can never express the things I want to in words anyway.
Although I've always wanted to meet a blind person. I think that would be a interesting experience, talking to someone who can't use their eyes to see.
And yes you are very right, many people prolly would go crazy from that.
Well I never judge anyone from anything but their motives and situation. Or at least I try.
And I know exactly what you mean. And it usually just gets worse as you try to explain. When that happens I usually stop talking and clear my head before correcting myself.
Well you have a nice style and seem to be the kind of person that I can talk to without wanting to strangle. Or at least walk away from. But anyway, your a good artist and writer and I hope I get to see more of your work.
Well it does to me. Of course that isn't really anything to go by. I always seem to understand things that others don't. The bad side of this being that I don't understand things that others do. Ever had that problem?
I never thought about it that way until you said it,
but I have.
I look too deep into something as simple as to hunt or be hunted,
but I look to shallow in to things such as why life is so amazing and beautiful.
I hate most when I think I understand someone, but then they say one thing and I realize I was completely off.
Yeah I know what you mean. Makes it kinda hard to have friends. And life tends to get very frustrating when you try to explain things to people.
Funny that you would mention the hunt or be hunted question, I've spent several years looking into that one.
I just recently met two boys who are the only ones ever to make it into the deep end. It was hard getting adjusted to them since on of them is the exboyfriend of my current "best" friend. But before them, no one ever had my trust completely, and I had to lie and say most of my friends did.
Good. I hope that means you have more friends then I do.
I generaly don't lie, if I don't trust you I will tell you so. And I never lie when I give a compliment, if I say a girl is beautiful it's because I think she is. It's simpler in the long run that way.
And I don't lie about who I am to make new people like me. It never leads to anything good to do that.
Rakai was moving swiftly through the trees, jumping from one branch to the next to avoid leaving any tracks on the ground that the humans could follow. The cuts in his arm and leg were now just a dull throb, the healing salves and bandages making it possible for him to keep on going. The Inquisitors had been on his trail for several days now and he knew that he had to lose them somehow.
"Just an hour of sleep, if I could just get that." He thought. But he knew that that was impossible. The Inquisitors was on horses, which meant that they could almost keep his speed but also gave them the advantage of being able to sleep in shifts in the saddle. He had taken out two of them in an ambush yesterday, or was it the day before that? Anyway, what should have been a surgical strike to get rid of the most immediate threat - their priest - turned into a catastrophe. He had only been able to get two of the archers and had suffered several wounds from their cursed weapons. He doubted that they were truly blessed as the church said.
"It feels more like hatred, hatred for everything not human." He mused as he was jumping between two trees.
Then something touched his senses. As an Amastine ranger he was trained to feel the land around him, to hear the trees whispers, to understand the wind as it moved over the plains. There was something else out there and it was also hunted. He was going to dismiss it as a boar or deer when it hit him. It was a scream of fear and exhaustion, of running for days and being near the end. And he recognised it, switching course to intercept even before his brain had fully understood the meaning of it, Rakai now pushed himself as much as he could. Straining his muscles to the limit and feeling his wounds reopen Rakai pushed himself harder. There was just one thing going through his mind at this point, the same thing that had made him forget the Inquisitors altogether and that was now taking him straight into the path of a raging mob intent on killing.
"There is a vampire elf with a child there!"
Using one of his last potions and every mental focus trick Headranger Kysha had taught him Rakai was able to catch up to the mob and their prey before they caught her or he fainted from the pain. The mob consisted of about 30 villagers he saw, men driven by religious zeal to kill what they saw as abominations. Rakai growled as he thought of their short-sightedness and intolerance. He then turned his attention to the one they were hunting. He couldn't see her yet but he knew it was a she. Going after the sounds of their breathing, how they moved and what he could still make out from the forest it was a woman and a child, running side by side and panting heavily. They couldn't keep going much longer he knew, they where at the limit of their abilities. Then he heard from the trees what was in front of them and came to the conclusion that whether they somehow would find the strength to continue or not didn't matter anymore. Still running through the trees Rakai ran past the fleeing woman and her child.
He reached the clip wall just 30 seconds before they did but it was enough.
The woman didn't even notice the wall until she practically hit it, reflexes that no human could ever had saving her from running straight into it.
Rakai watched from the trees as the woman searched for a way out, he couldn't help her right now as he was much too busy finishing his traps.
When she understood that there was no way out and hearing the mob close in on her the woman put the child on a low outcrop just above head height and turned around to face her pursuers. Rakai saw that it was a futile gesture. The woman was so tired that she was having trouble standing, but he also knew what she was about to do and he knew that many of the men now coming through the forest would not return.
Catching a ray of light on one of his arrows he managed to catch the woman's attention, holding up his hand and turning away the arrow he gestured to her to be quite, that he would help and motioned to the log hanging suspended by him. She nodded and smiled at him revealing her fangs.
"She must think I don't know what she is." Rakai thought. How odd, it was always simple for vampires to recognise each other; it showed in how they moved, how they looked and how they looked on everyone else. This woman is full of mysteries Rakai thought, but this is not the time to think about that he concluded as he heard the humans making their way into the clearing.
He smiled back at her and revealed his fangs to her before motioning to her to don't give him away just yet before becoming one with the shadows around him. The humans had arrived. The woman entered a low fighting stance, baring her fangs and getting ready to protect her child.
Rakai waited until what he judged was the right moment before letting go of the rope he was holding. Now having nothing to hold it back the log Rakai had set up started to move and pick up speed.
The humans didn't know what hit them. The log swung right through them hitting 3 simultaneously and taking out another 8 on its way through the mob.
Even before it was through the mob the first time Rakai was in the air. He shot arrows two at a time into the mob, a trick that had been passed down through several generations of Amastines and perfected through the years. He saw that the woman was also moving, using the confusion to kill and injure as much as she could before the humans regained their senses and started to fight back.
Angling his descent and putting away his bow Rakai landed among the humans just a few meters from the woman. When he hit the ground he rolled to avoid injuring himself and came up with both his short swords drawn. He sliced open the throat of one of the humans and the stomach of another before jumping again and sailing through the air above the others.
Killing two more with downwards thrusts through their skulls he used them as leverage to propel himself further so that he landed beside the woman. She was fighting in desperation and had already killed or injured at least five now.
"A very impressive number considering she is unarmed and they aren't." Rakai thought. "Lets even out the odds then." He added as he slipped her one of his swords and pulled a long hunting knife from his belt. The humans was gathering now, their initial shook and confusion giving way to anger and hatred of what they say as abominations against both their god and nature.
Rakai knew that they had to kill these humans quickly or they wouldn't be able to outrun the Inquisitors that he knew would now be riding hard towards them.
"Damn their priests and their ability to sense their environment!" He thought as he parried a swing from a scythe and nearly cut a man's head of with the hunting knife. The blood was all over him now and it was getting harder to control himself.
"Just let go." The thing inside him said. "If you do I will get us out of this."
Rakai paid it no heed and continued killing and fighting. He had to resist or he wouldn't leave when it was done and the Inquisitors got here. And then he, the woman and her child would die.
A swing of a rusty sword brought him out of his head and back to the very real danger of being killed before the Inquisitors ever got here.
"If I could just drink just a little it would help immensely." He though. And then he saw the opening. Seizing it as it was presented to him Rakai parried two attacks from the sides and sidestepped the thrust from a pitchfork in front of him. Closing the distance between himself and the farmer wielding it Rakai bit the man in the throat just as he had done with so many others through the years. Drinking deeply from the man's punctured artery Rakai pulled him of his feet with a jerk of his head. Using the man as a shield and a club at the same time he swung him sideways into the other seven remaining villagers. The shook and horror that this caused allowed the woman to kill another two and Rakai finished of the 3 that he had knocked to the ground with his human club. This was too much for the two remaining humans who turned and fled only to be shoot in the back by Rakai.
Turning to the woman who was now looking after the child and looking at him suspiciously Rakai spoke to her for the first time.
"Hi my name is Rakai Amastine, but the introductions will have to wait till later as we have to climb that cliff or fight about a dozen Inquisitors on horses. I'll carry the child for you."
When the Inquisitors reached the meadow just a few minutes later they where gone.